Moving Advice

Why Moving is So Stressful (and What You Can Do About It)

Moving is like ripping a plant from its root system. It causes a stress response called transplant shock that causes the plant’s growth to slow down or even stop for a period while the plant adjusts to the changes in its environment. It’s the same for humans.

No matter how local or seemingly easy the move, it’s going to be more stressful than you think. You can count on that. I’ve moved more than anyone I know and consider myself an expert mover. But moving still throws me for a loop, one way or another, every single time.

The Top 5 Stressors in Life

According to a New York Post survey, 45% of Americans rate moving as more stressful than divorce (44%) or having kids. In a UK survey, 57% of Brits said moving was the most stressful event in life.

I disagree that moving is the most stressful thing in life. (I’m pretty sure many of those surveyed had just moved and it happened to be top of mind.) But it’s certainly up there on the list. There are many lists of life’s “top stressors” on the internet, and different ways of ranking them, but the following are consistently near the top of most lists. In no particular order, they are:

The 4 D’s:

1. Death (of a spouse or loved one)
2. Divorce (or separation)
3. Debilitation (major injury or illness)
4. Devastation (trauma, natural disasters, war, major loss of property, major violation of rights, job loss, miscarriage, grief, etc.)

And the M:

5. Moving

What many stressors have in common is that something is broken—be it a broken heart, a broken body, or a broken home.

Your Home is Your Foundation in Life

When you take a step back and look at the big picture, home is the foundation for so many important aspects of our lives. It provides safety and security. It gives us a place to prepare and eat our meals. It may be where we work and build our financial stability. It provides a space for order, routine, and connection.

When you don’t have a home, you don’t have a foundation from which to work, serve, grow, and deal with the 4 D’s (and other stressors in life). That’s why it’s so traumatic and devastating to lose a home, or even just move a home. Because it disrupts your very foundation. It pulls you from your roots.

Think about it. Moving disrupts your schedule, which can affect your finances. It affects your routine, which can affect your ability to maintain healthy habits. It affects your emotions, which can become dysregulated. It affects your connections, which can be lost. It disrupts your very stability. This is why moving so very stressful and why moving needs to be taken seriously and done strategically.

Rebuilding the 4 Pillars of Home After a Move

Your home is your foundation to fulfill your potential and God’s plan for your life. There are four key pillars of home to rebuild as quickly as possible after you move:

1. Safety and stability. Your home must be secure. Before you hang fairy lights, make sure that all the windows lock or have wooden dowels lodged in them. Make sure the smoke alarm has batteries. Get everyone their own key. Physical security will ease your anxiety.
2. Order and cleanliness. Your home must be clean and organized. Negotiate hard for a professional pre-move cleaning. You do not want to be scrubbing someone else’s grime while your own life is still in boxes.
3. Routine and healthy habits. Your home must support healthy routines in the bathroom, kitchen, and at bedtime. Prioritize those zones when unpacking and setting up. Buy some groceries for the kitchen so you can prepare your own meals again.
4. Connection with family. Your home will feel more like home with a family in it, even if it’s only your roommates, plants, or pets. Create a cozy space for being together or calling loved ones. Meet the neighbors. Emotional connection will soothe your soul.

These are the key pillars that must be rebuilt after a move in order for your new space to feel like home. The longer it takes to check off these boxes, the longer you will be in limbo and not living your best life at full capacity.

The Hidden Cost of Serial Moving

Moving every year might keep things “interesting,” but roots take time to grow. Constant relocation may limit your growth and potential. Friendships and communities take time to develop, routines take time to level up, and career opportunities get paused while you’re at the DMV for the third time this year. Growth needs stillness. Too many transplants and even the hardiest plant stops thriving.

Keep in mind that sadness or depression, inner-turmoil, relationship problems, and high stress are par for the course when moving. So, choose and execute your moves strategically. Move when it’s really worth it: when the benefits will really outweigh the costs. If your lifestyle means you’re always on the move, it’s worth investing in Better Boxes to ease the stress of moving and easily and quickly rebuild order and functionality at your new home.